I had a different kind of weekend. I was quiet. Not totally voluntaily. OK, it was voluntary to go to this weekend course but...

Center for Mindfulness, yoga and different meditations were interesting. I fell asleep every time we did body-meditation. Yoga movements were hard to learn (=remember), but I really did like the flow of it that I every now and then was able to get grip of.
Most of the time I did the practices with closed eyes, but specially as I woke up I looked around and enjoyed the sound of breathing around me, the smooth movements and the quietness around me. 17 people and so smooth feeling.

I did not totally get it. How centering my thoughths around my breathing would make me more balanced person? I did not have any pains to smooth away. Maybe I'll start thinking about my breathing when the work related thoughths come up when it is time to go to sleep.

To enjoy this moment. There I see some improvement possibilities in my behaviour. I find myself planning and seeing the possible turn outs of the on going situation and worrying, or maybe I should say mentally preparing, for those consequences coming up. That occupies my mind insted when I should be enjoying the moment. The need to be in control and on top of the things, it is exhausting. But who says I have to take that role? Mostly me, myself. It is a way to be organized.

I'm stretcing myself too much. I feel that I have not done enough. I know I could do it better. But how much is enough? I have these doupts. I'm questioning if I do enough. Demanding. Everything. NOW.  Whose expectations I'm trying to live up to? Maybe less is more?